


Highway to Hell

by xNovilunium



Series: Milo's story [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/F, Oral Sex, Self-Harm, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 02:34:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18064919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xNovilunium/pseuds/xNovilunium
Summary: Milo kept his night-light on while he was waiting for the girls to go to sleep, his back turned on the door. Like this, Maeva would believe him to be asleep and wouldn’t worry too much. She wouldn’t sit on his bed and talk to him until he would dismiss her rather coldly. She wouldn’t ask him if he wanted her to spend the night with him. Even if he had said ‘yes’, he was sure Adeline wouldn’t appreciate the fact that once again Maeva was spending more time with him than with her. It would lead to another argument and that, Milo didn’t want it.





	Highway to Hell

Milo hadn’t gone back to high school for a week now. He hadn’t seen his beloved teacher, nor his lovely classmates since he had left hospital. And he absolutely didn’t care about them. Except Kai. 

Kai had been nice enough to come almost every day and bring him the lessons and homework he had missed. How mad he had been when he had learnt from Maeva what had happened after him and Ethan had left. He knew there was something wrong with that supposed relationship. Not only because of the age gap, but he couldn’t stick with Damien. Milo’s body language should have set him thinking. But no, for once he had thought his guts were lying to him, that he was too protective with his friend. Never again would he doubt them. 

Milo loved when Kai was visiting him. That little hour was his only escape from the nightmares and memories. When Kai was here, he was doing everything to make him smile – by telling him jokes or the last stupid thing their chemistry teacher had come up with, or even bringing Ethan with him when he could – everything to make him forget for a little while the night he’d had to endure. More than once Milo had cried in his arms. It was still too fresh, still too painful. He was always asking why him, what did he do for Damien to rape him. He had never let him understand he was, _could_ be interested in him. Maybe he should have gotten things straight with him from the start. Told him his so-called compliments were making him uncomfortable, should have said something each time he’s been touching him. Instead of being afraid to move or say anything. More importantly, he shouldn’t have taken his threats seriously. He would have never hurt his own sister. Wouldn’t he? 

He sighed against Mr. Koala’s belly and wrapped his legs a little tighter. His knees started to hurt him from being in that position for too long now, but he didn’t care. He would spent days in Maeva’s study if he wished, and it wasn’t his body that would prevent him from doing it. Milo felt at ease in that room. She had hung many pictures on the wall, just above her desk. Pictures of her and Adeline, with her dad, with him, and some with other friends. The shelves were full of books, decorated with fairy lights and cacti of various sizes. The small water fountain was on, and, at one corner of the room, just in front of Milo was a giant pear shaped pouffe. It was the only room Milo could be in alone without being overwhelmed by the memories. 

Three knocks on the door made him raise his head from Mr. Koala. The door opened, and Maeva poked her head inside. 

“There you are,” She said when she spotted him sitting under the desk. She walked to him and joined him under, thanking her past self for having purchased a large desk. “Are you okay?” 

Milo nodded then rested his head on her shoulder. “Do you need something?” 

“No, I was looking for you. What do you think about you and me on the couch with sweets, hot chocolate, and a movie?” She asked then put a kiss on his hair. “I bought marshmallows the other day, I know they’re your favourite.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to have classes right now?” 

“Nah, don’t want to go. Not today.” 

“Maeva,” He sighed. “Stop skipping classes just because of me. I’m fine.” 

“Sure, and I’m the Queen of England.” 

He sighed again, brushing his nose against Mr. Koala’s. Then, when Maeva started to play with his hair, he added, “What movie?” 

“Ferngully? Or Hook? Or The NeverEnding Story? Wait no not that one, we’re gonna cry.” 

Milo chuckled. Crying would do a lot of good to him, but he didn’t want to worry her more than she already was. If he had to cry today, he would do it away from prying eyes. 

“Old movies then?” 

“Old movies baby!” 

She wrapped her arms around him, taking advantages of the few next minutes to hug him as much as she could under that desk. Milo wasn’t feeling well, and he kept lying to her. How could he be fine when he kept waking them night after night with his nightmares? How could he be fine when she could find him hidden under that desk in the middle of the night, or when both herself and Adeline weren’t at home? How could he be fine when he was eating less and less? Maeva didn’t know if all of these were because of Damien, because of the hours he spent at the police station, or both. 

They left the room after Milo kissed her cheek, telling her again how sorry he was. 

In the kitchen, Milo took care of their bowls of hot chocolate – Mr. Koala sitting on the worktop watching them closely – and Maeva filled to the rim a large salad bowl with all the candies she could find, marshmallows at the top of the pile. She took Milo’s plush with her, saying he couldn’t hold the plate with the bowls _and_ Mr. Koala with only two hands, then rushed upstairs to pick up the biggest plaid Milo had in his wardrobe. 

The girls were already eating candies when Milo joined them. But as soon as she saw him, Adeline muttered under her breath then left the room quickly. 

“She’s avoiding me again,” he said sitting next to Maeva. “Is it because I pressed charges against him?” 

“Give her time.” She put the candies between them then pressed ‘play’ on the remote. “I do not condone her behaviour towards you, but she needs time to come to terms with what happened. She’s always considered him as her hero. It’s difficult for her to accept the fact that he’s an asshole.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Do not apologise. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I heard you fight yesterday.” He said between two sips. “It was because of me.” 

“No sweetie. It wasn’t.” 

“But–” 

Maeva put a marshmallow in his mouth then laughed at his surprised face as he chewed. Yes, she had had an argument with Adeline the day before. Yes, it was about Milo. But no, it wasn’t his fault. Milo had done nothing wrong. Adeline only needed to remove her brother from his pedestal. Damien wasn’t the big brother every little girl could hope for. 

Milo watched the movie and drank his hot chocolate trying to focus his mind on the screen. He wanted to forget everything, just for the duration of the movie. Take a break from the pain and tears, and just enjoy spending time with his best friend. 

* * *

Milo kept his night-light on while he was waiting for the girls to go to sleep, his back turned on the door. Like this, Maeva would believe him to be asleep and wouldn’t worry too much. She wouldn’t sit on his bed and talk to him until he would dismiss her rather coldly. She wouldn’t ask him if he wanted her to spend the night with him. Even if he had said ‘yes’, he was sure Adeline wouldn’t appreciate the fact that once again Maeva was spending more time with him than with her. It would lead to another argument and that, Milo didn’t want it. 

He had heard them fight too many times since he left the hospital. And Milo didn’t want to be the reason of their break-up. _If_ they were following that path. He would never forgive himself. 

He shut his eyes as he heard footsteps in the corridor, and soon after the door opened. Slowly. The mattress sank a little when Maeva – it could only be her – sat beside him. She caressed his cheek, cleared his face from his hair then kissed his head. 

“Sleep well, sweetie.” She said before closing the door. 

Milo waited hidden underneath the covers, hugging his plush so hard his knuckles turned white. He hated being in the dark, because it was easier for the memories to hurt him, easier for him to remember everything Damien had told him each time he’d raped him. In the dark, he could see his face, his grin, clear as day. And no matter how hard he was trying, Milo couldn’t make the memories go away. 

An hour passed, maybe two, when he left his bed and the room, sure the girls were now sleeping soundly. Staying in his room alone, even with the night-light on, was impossible for him since that Halloween party. He could still feel his breath against his cheek, still feel his hands touching him in ways he had hoped he never would, still feel his heart pounding in his head as he’d choked him. The last time he had thought he would die was when his father beat him. Maybe he should have died that day, Damien would have never laid a hand on him. Maybe he shouldn’t have been born at all. 

Milo made a quick stop to the kitchen before walking to the living-room, bottle in hand. He turned the lamp behind the TV on then flopped down on the couch as tears were already running on his cheeks. He took a first, long sip that burnt his throat, legs brought to his chest. He couldn’t believe the turn his life had taken since he left his father. He had thought he would be happier far away from him, had thought he would be finally able to live how he wanted, be who he wanted, accept himself, but he had to meet him. 

Milo was scared to go back to high school too. What if they knew? What would they say, do to him? Would they be like that police officer and ask him what he was wearing during that night? Would they tell him he shouldn’t have been so flirtatious? Would they call him names? And Kai, wouldn’t he get sick of always standing up for him? The girls would soon too. Adeline was already avoiding him anyway. Without considering all the things she had said about him during their arguments. 

Damien had broken him in so many ways. His trust in his friends was crumbling slowly with each passing day, and his fear was only increasing. He feared to sleep, feared to be left alone, feared to go outside and see him again even though Damien couldn’t hurt him, nor be close to him. Milo couldn’t talk about those fears with Maeva or Kai, this would only prove he was a burden. A young man who couldn’t even take care of himself, nor surpass his fears. ‘Get over it, move on’ some would say. Milo couldn’t. Not now. 

A sob crossed his lips. Then more. Milo fell on his side, the empty bottle crashed to the floor, and cried more in the pillow. He hoped the girls wouldn’t hear him, hoped they wouldn’t come down and see the mess he was. He wanted to scream, wanted to have him within easy reach to scratch his face, make him bleed like he had made him, break him over and over again, make him beg and hurt him more. Just like Damien did. 

Crying into the pillow wasn’t enough for him. Angry tears spilled on his face as he sat up. The pieces of the broken bottle were too tempting. He only needed to reach for one of them and everything would be over. His pain, the tears and hushed sobs in the middle of the night, the nightmares, his fears. Everything. Milo wanted to put an end to it more than anyone else. He just didn’t feel brave enough to attempt it. Instead, Milo scratched his arms. Long, red and burning lines he would have to hide now. He didn’t want to worry them. They shouldn’t worry about him. 

He didn’t know where he found the strength to get up and go back to his room. No nightmare would bother him tonight. Milo had drank enough. 

* * *

She frowned as she watched Adeline put the broken bottle in a dustpan. None of them had drank yesterday; Maeva never did during the week, Adeline had an interview today, and Milo went to his room as soon as he’d finish eating his dinner. Or rather he’d barely touched it. He was even fast asleep when she came into his room. Maeva hated this. Milo wasn’t doing well and no matter how much she wanted to help him, he didn’t seem to want her help. 

The doctor who had been in charge of Milo’s case had given her the contact details of a psychiatrist who worked with them and victims of rape. Maeva had managed to have an appointment for him but Milo didn’t go, saying he was fine and didn’t need help. Maeva wanted to give him time, in no way did she want to force him to go there. He had to do the first step, but if he persisted in claiming everything was fine when it was far from being the case, she would have no other choice. She wanted to help him, he needed it, but there were few things Maeva couldn’t do. 

“Go check on him.” Adeline said when she walked past her. 

The scent of alcohol got up her nose as soon as she opened the door. Milo was lying on his side, rolled like a ball with the covers up his nose, every single one of his plushies on the floor. The night-light was off which made Maeva frown more. Milo never turned it off. She crouched in front of him and got his hair out of his face, fingers lingering on his temple. It wasn’t today that he’d go back to high school. 

Maeva hoped he would let them help him. They only wanted his own good, and all of them were worrying about him. Even Adeline. Even when her behaviour was telling him the contrary. She sighed deeply, then put a soft kiss on his cheek. Before she closed the door, Maeva whispered to him to rest and that she loved him. It was the first time she could see him in such a state, and she hated feeling so hopeless. 

In the kitchen, Adeline was toasting slices of bread humming a song shifting from one foot to the other. Maeva couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She was so pretty, messy long hair cascading down her back, a smile so bright the sun paled in comparison. Maeva would do anything for her, if it meant she could see that smile every day. Adeline had shared a part of her life for three years now, and she hoped she would for many, many other years. Maeva couldn’t imagine what her life without her could be. She was her sun, her raison d’être, the only one she wanted to see when she opened her eyes in the morning, and the last one before sleeping. 

Maeva wrapped her arms around her waist, lips already teasing her neck. She moved with her as Adeline kept humming, toasting jam on a piece of bread. 

“How is he?” Adeline asked as she turned in her arms. She laced her hands behind her head, twisting a red strand between her fingers. 

“Still sleeping. Could you keep an eye on him today?” 

“Of course.” She kissed her lips and smiled when she felt Maeva’s hands going under her oversized t-shirt, moving up her thighs. “Eat something before leaving, please.” 

“Oh I will.” Maeva winked. 

She raised a leg on her hip as she took her lips in a deep and slow kiss, her hands flat against her lower back keeping her close. Her hands slid underneath her panties, groping her bum. Maeva trapped her bottom lip between her teeth when Adeline gasped, squeezed her harder and pushed her more against the worktop. She kissed her face, loving how her breath hitched each time she tickled her ribs, how a shade of red kissed the tip of her ears, fingers tight on her collar. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Isn’t it obvious, baby?” Maeva said in her ear, lifting her oversized t-shirt up. 

“But Milo–” 

“Is sleeping. And I know you can be quiet, when you want.” She tossed the t-shirt on the floor as she bit her neck, a hand feeling her breast. 

Adeline bit the inside of her cheeks, then grinned. Deft fingers opened Maeva’s shirt, one button after the other. “Someone is going to be late for her classes.” 

“Not an interesting one,” She tilted Adeline’s head to the side and kissed her neck, the tip of her tongue tasting her skin. “I can be late.” 

Adeline arched her body against her as fingers brushed her clavicle, then between her breasts, and down. She whimpered against her lips when they reached her panties once more, playing with the brim, teasing. Her knuckles white on the edge of the worktop, she watched Maeva follow a line from her throat to her navel with her mouth, her hands never leaving her curves. A sigh crossed her lips as Maeva slowly slid that last garment along her thighs. She closed her eyes at the first flick of her tongue, one hand over her mouth to keep herself quiet, the other lost in Maeva’s hair. 

Her tongue circled her clit, mouth sucked her lips as she traced her thighs with her nails. Maeva groaned when Adeline started moving against her mouth, fingers tightly closed on the back of her head. She pulled her leg over her shoulder, then slid two fingers inside her. Maeva felt her quiver as she pushed them further, little moans escaping Adeline’s mouth as she thrust them faster. 

Adeline writhed as waves of pleasure overtook her, her body hot and trembling, the flush on her face kissing now her shoulders. She groaned her name when Maeva curled her fingers inside her, vision turning black for a few seconds. She couldn’t keep quiet, not when Maeva kept moving in her, faster and faster, mouth not leaving her clit. She cried out loud, body bent forward as her hand kept Maeva’s head between her legs. They gave way, shaking too much, but Maeva caught her as she stood up. 

Maeva kissed her, tongue seeking hers. “I love you.” She said brushing her nose along her jaw, then kissed her again. And again. 

“Love you too, honey.” Arms around her shoulders, she let her hands wander on her naked body, goosebumps following her fingers. 

They stayed like that, hugging and kissing each other, longer than Maeva should have. She whined when Adeline reminded her about her classes and helped her put her t-shirt on again. 

“Stop avoiding him, please,” She said against her lips, buttoning her shirt back up. “It bothers him.” 

“Maybe he should have thought about it before pressing charges against him,” She said coldly, her mouth faster than her mind. 

Maeva sighed. “We’ve already had this discussion.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Hey,” She raised her face, thumb drawing circles on her cheek. “I love you, it’s gonna be okay.” 

Adeline only nodded this time. 

She went upstairs as soon as Maeva left and stopped in front of Milo’s bedroom. She opened the door with a shaking hand. It creaked a little, and she hoped it didn’t wake him up. One of his arms was dangling from the bed, the tip of his fingers brushing the floor. Adeline felt sorry for him; he was her friend too after all. But a part of herself still couldn’t believe what her brother did to him. It couldn’t be possible, Damien wasn’t like that. She had never seen him violent with anyone, whether it was with ex-girlfriends, their parents or even herself. He was her brother. The one who calmed her down after a nightmare, the one who helped her do her homework more than once, the one who always asked their parents if he could pick her up from school. He was the one who had promised her that her big brother would always be there for her, as it was his role to protect her. 

She couldn’t believe he did that. Couldn’t understand why. 

Adeline regretted so much everything she had said about Milo during her arguments with Maeva. She shouldn’t have said those things, shouldn’t have implied Milo got what he deserved because of the way he had dressed that night. It wasn’t a thing to say about a friend, and no matter how many times she would apologise to him, she doubted he would forgive her. Adeline still hadn’t made the first step and talk to him. She wasn’t stupid, she knew he had heard every single one of their arguments, and it wasn’t making him feel better. But she could at least do what Maeva asked. 

She closed the door quietly, then went to the bathroom. She had to get ready for that interview. 

* * *

It took Milo long minutes to leave his bed. More to reach the kitchen. The whole house was quiet; he hated it as much as he liked it. His thoughts were too loud, he felt like shit, could barely keep his eyes open, and that lump in his throat and disgusting taste on his tongue that didn’t want to leave. His stomach let out a loud grumble, but he had no strength to eat. He knew he wouldn’t keep whatever he’d eat. 

He noticed the bright orange post-it notes stuck on the fridge, cursive letters forming nice words he hadn’t heard from her since that night. 

_I don’t know when you’ll wake up, but lunch is in the fridge if you want something salty._

_I’ll be back soon but call me if something happens. Say it’s a family emergency. You’re family._

_P.S: I love you beanpole <3 – Adeline_

A single tear ran down his cheek. When was the last time she told him ‘I love you’? He missed her joking with him, their little shenanigans, their mutual teasing. Her in the same room as him. He didn’t want to lose her as his friend, didn’t want the girls to break up because of him. 

That thought sounded like a broken record as he walked back upstairs. He was the only one to blame, it was his fault if Adeline wasn’t herself with him anymore. It was his fault if they had an argument each time they were talking about that night, almost every evening when they thought Milo was asleep. His fault if Adeline wouldn’t be able to see her brother before a long time. His fault if Akela wasn’t coming anymore. 

The cutter hidden in his pencil case had never been so tempting than now. 

Milo turned on the water and let it run in the tub, knuckles white on the floor when he slid down. Everything would be over quickly if he’d just let it slide on his skin, deep enough. His pain would vanish, he wouldn’t be a burden for his friends, wouldn’t make them worry the whole day. Adeline wouldn’t have to leave the room or be uncomfortable in his presence. Maeva wouldn’t have to skip classes to keep an eye on him. Everything would be so much easier for them without him. 

But Milo was too much of a coward to cut himself deep enough to die. 

His stomach hurt when he screamed his pain, uncontrollable tears falling on the cold and red floor. _Coward. Coward. Coward._ It echoed through his mind, the blade still trapped between his fingers giving him another cut. And another. And another. It hurt, distracted him from that other pain, worse than simple cuts. It was what he needed. A distraction. 

Until the pain on his arm would vanish. 

* * *

Milo managed to calm down and erase any trace of what he had done just before Adeline came back home. Sitting on the couch, he heard her hum as she removed her shoes and coat, a sign that maybe her interview went well. He didn’t move to greet her, didn’t turn his head to watch her and show her he was here too. If he stayed silent, she could pretend he wasn’t here. Milo rested his forehead against his knees and scratched his forearm. 

“You’re up!” She said leaning on the couch. “You’re okay?” 

“Hm.” 

“You know, I’m here if you want to… If you want to talk.” 

“I’m fine Adeline, I just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Yeah, we saw the bottle.” She said running a hesitant hand up and down his back. “If you don’t want to talk to me, it’s fine. But you know Maeva won’t say the same thing.” 

“I’m fine.” 

She smiled to him, even though he wasn’t looking at her, then disappeared in the kitchen. When she came back, she was holding two steaming cups. 

Milo didn’t pay attention to what she was saying. Not that it wasn’t interesting, but he knew she was only talking to make the tension between them more bearable. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to answer to his phone which kept ringing with notifications of a new text. Didn’t answer to Adeline when she asked him if Chinese food for dinner was okay for him. He was just so tired. 

His cup empty, he laid down and closed his eyes. The sound of the TV distracted him, as well as Adeline’s hand moving on his ankle. He wanted to smile, but his mouth stayed closed in a thin line. He should be happy, Adeline was staying with him, but the only thing he felt was his wounds pulse. 

Maybe things with her would start to get better now.


End file.
